Thursday, January 27, 2011

Time

Death dons his mantle of rust spattered metal and glass gritty with dirt. He prowls the hinterlands, like a rogue wolf searching for unsuspecting prey. He leaves a trail of burnt rubber and slick rivulets of oil.

Oblivious youths trundle by undulating golden fields jaundiced by the midday sun. They are in a bus filled with tangled threads of conversation and candy floss laughter. The novelty of life has not been tarnished yet and they are still sketching blueprints for their futures. Their juvenescence makes red wood giants of them. Their shiny new dreams render them invincible before the gales and breezes that blow from the corners of the world.

A wind emerges from the sea gasping answers to the questions Bob Dylan poses to life. It presses itself up against skin and knots hair. It billows into nylon curtaining that bears semblance to the sails of old and it whispers stories of their misadventures to those willing to listen.

A tractor growls past, but the striplings pay no heed to the weathered leather face pursed into a jaunty whistle that joins the slightly disharmonious symphony of the cicadas resting in the shade of leafy trees.

Yet still Death looms closer, guzzling at the distance separating life and oblivion. He homes in on his unwary victims. Lids heavy with insomnia droop and the steering wheel careens off course. The heavy crunch and pain-filled screech of metal on metal comes as such a bewildering revelation that the bus topples over a precipitous slope and tumbles end over end until it is nothing more than a crumpled cool drink can.

Bodies collapse like canvas tents. Skin embraces steel and shards of glass perforate flesh. Colossal red wood trees they are not, they are mere saplings, blown down by a single gust of wind. Blood creates metallurgy creeks in the dry dust, before it is greedily sucked up by the thirsty earth. Searing heat, unendurable pain and sharp-edged noise permeate the air. The final granules of sand slide from the top bulb of their hourglasses. Souls scatter and sprint their final good race. They have no time for the marathon.  

These unrequited juveniles are violently robbed of the privilege to build their futures; their castles remain aloof in cloudy splendour. They have only ever grown wrinkled and mapped in the bath tub. They no longer have the prerogative to fade into the great blue yonder with a life time’s journey sewn to their heels. 

Father Time dispassionately amasses his untimely harvest and swiftly departs, leaving only the stench of his rancid breath to imbue the senses of those left behind. He has unrelenting work before him until the minutes stopping ticking over into hours, days, weeks, months and years...

Death turns a remorseless back on the carnage. He continues along highways and down byways. He knows the motions by heart, if Death, indeed, has a heart.



Sunday, January 16, 2011

When time stopped

The sun strained through a gritty sieve of curtaining. A giant snail curled in on itself. Lying and reading until my back ached and my eyes fuzzed. "Oslo in the summertime" blaring down the wires of a shared set of earphones. Reading "Waiting for Godot" together in the stuffy confines of a room disused and lovingly abused. The burning ash reaching for the stars before raining anonymously on our heads. The Hurtlocker. Dharma & Greg. Anne running around without her nappy on. Talking , our words building cities of colourful lights in the quiet darkness of early morning. The watery sky and the sobbing sea whose cold fingers grabbed our ankles. The floatsam of glass lining the shore. Claire peering at me through her glass, it made me think of coke bottle glasses. Salty skin that stuck to fabric. Hiccoughs. Ciabata in abundance. Learning small fragments about Photoshop. Sleeping too much. The cafe that smelt of things long decayed. The warm damp air. Running away from a brommer, because we're just silly girls. Claire driving into two bushes. Birds dancing and singing in the tree outside our bedroom window. Algoa FM. Hearing Baker Street and that Gerry Rafferty had died of liver failure. "I know where it is, I just need to find it."  Dunes that were contrasted and emphasized by a purple sky.  Fishermen fading away in the salty mist of the beach. Green. The Gamtoos River, which was too cold to swim in, but we did anyway. Claire accusing me of getting us lost. Insisting that we were right there and, therefore, not lost. Janet and I giving Claire a hard time because we could. Psalms. L'eau l'eau, whose heart was so cold, the only way to melt her was in losing her to drink. SHROOMS! Listening to Maria Callas while driving through sea mist.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Taking Woodstock

I went to Cape Town with my dad yesterday, we had a few hours to kill between his meeting and picking my sister up from the airport. So, we mooched around Woodstock and took pictures of the dilapidated buildings & cars.


I scored a free One Small Seed magazine and a guady red suitcase for 30 bucks. Life is sweet.
I also think the locals thought we were a little touched in the head.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Get off my cloud

My cranium is saturated with tangled, gnarled threads of conversations held at the wrong place and time.

Everyone wants to stick their stethoscopes down my bloody throat, to crowd around and hear the flutter of my heart, a winged creature, fragile inside it's cage of fine china-ed bone... I'm selfish enough to think that.

I'm running on low battery, I'm exhausted by the flattery. I need out. I need to breathe.

I feel like a gambler on an all night run, addicted to the roll and rush of words, words, words, filling me, yet leaving me as empty as a dead bird's body.

The midnight hour strikes and everyone's jaws unhinge and words come crawling out of the dark regions of our hearts. They lay there in their shadows and scuttle over us in the loneliest hours of night. Eventually, the words take flight and the room reverberates with a swarm that leaves me feeling stripped of anything wholesome.

I thought I was a child of the light. Yet, when I looked inside myself I could no longer see anything, for the darkness had permeated every layer.

This is not me.  

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Papillon

I haven't felt that nervous in a long time.
The cocoons that have lain dormant for so long split open and revealed delicate butterflies that my stomach had forgotten existed.
It was strange to feel adolescent. I don't often feel that way. 
oh well.   

Friday, January 7, 2011

I think, therefore I am.

I figured that I should update my blog... so that it does not appear that I have disappeared into the ether. Not that anybody would really notice.
I am filled with the most inexplicable melancholy. It is a stark contrast to the weather outside.
I think that blogging should be renamed... to something like "An Ode to Narcissism."
Because more and more it has been troubling my mind that I'm the only one who really actually cares.